On February 20, we had the pleasure of hearing from hearing health advocate Matt Hay and NPR’s Mary Louise Kelly in support of Hearing the Call. Thanks to everyone who attended! For those who were unable to join, here’s a brief recap:
Mary Louise Kelly described her hearing loss as “so gradual, I didn’t realize what I was losing.” It wasn’t until she couldn’t understand an audience member’s question while on book tour that she said “enough.” She shared the sense of wonder and rediscovery she experienced in the days and weeks after first being fit with hearing aids. After leaving the appointment, she was surprised to hear the sound of her heels on the tiled floor for the first time in years. Later, she walked out of a Starbucks to escape the overwhelming sounds of coffee beans grinding, milk steaming, and all the chatter of a bustling coffee shop.
Mary Louise explained that wearing hearing aids is not like putting on glasses and instantly being able to see. Your brain has to learn, and it takes time. Even a decade later, her hearing health is something she works on daily. One major lesson learned over the course of her hearing journey is that “hearing is not optional for our health.” When asked if she still uses closed captioning, Mary Louise gave an emphatic, “yes,” encouraging everyone that, “you just have to ask for what you need.” After hearing Mary Louise Kelly’s story, we heard from Matt Hay.
Growing up, Matt’s parents had two rules: work hard and be kind. He shared how these two rules set him up to face challenges boldly. Even so, it was hard for Matt to grasp what was about to happen. It started with difficulty hearing his parents whenever he would call home while at college. But it wasn’t until he went home for the summer and his parents discovered Matt couldn’t hear them like he used to that he first went to the doctor for answers. After several doctors’ appointments and various tests, one doctor finally said the phrase that made it click: “We can save your life, or we can save your hearing.” From that day until the day he woke up in silence, Matt’s mission was to build a “mental jukebox” of all the songs and sounds he wanted to remember. Over time, sounds grew increasingly muffled and garbled. Then, one day, he left for work and didn’t hear his wife say, “I love you.”
At work, his manager and colleagues sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher. So, he called a cab, went home, and told his wife, Nora, “It’s happening.” The following morning, “sound was just a memory.” Nora started making calls immediately and had Matt scheduled for an experimental surgery three months later. The brain stem implant was promised to provide “life sounds” like oven timers and smoke alarms. But everything sounded like a spoon in the garbage disposal. One night, his wife asked for help with one of their infant twins, but he couldn’t tell which one needed help.
That was when he decided he needed to put in the work to get the outcome he wanted. He listened to the same 12 songs every day waiting for the day when he could make out even just one line. Three years of what he calls “irrational persistence” passed before he was able to do just that. With no risk and unlimited reward, Matt followed his dad’s advice to work hard. Through his efforts, Matt’s ability to understand speech has far exceeded anything expected at the beginning of his journey. “Your brain is not the place to save a few bucks,” he said, pointing out the effort and resources it took for him to hear footsteps and his wife’s voice over the phone again.
But it wasn’t just effort and resources. Both Matt Hay and Mary Louise Kelly talked about the importance of having the right people around them. When asked about how he deals with people treating him differently after a surgery caused partial facial paralysis, Matt reminded us that people think about you far less than you think they do. “I don’t surround myself with people who care about that.” Instead, consider how far you’ve come. As a broadcaster working in audio every day, Mary Louise was impressed by how on-board her colleagues have been in accommodating the various added tools she needs to use in order to do her job well.
It was an absolute pleasure hearing two amazing storytellers share their stories of coming to terms with their hearing loss and finding ways to overcome it in their daily lives. They both acknowledged this journey is not over but will continue for the rest of their lives.